Why I went on to marry my husband after his accident – Yinka Afeyele’s wife tells their emotional love story
Temitope, the beautiful wife of the Tungba/Gospel crooner, Yinka Ayefele, has revealed why she went ahead to marry him despite his accident.
In this interview, Temitope exclusively tells DARE ADENIRAN everything…from her very private life, marriage and what motivated the idea of having an NGO and many other things. How she met her husband in 1996 and still went ahead to marry him after the accident that confined him to wheelchair in 1997. What has been sustaining their marriage since they got married in year 2000 and so many other interesting issues. It is quite revealing and inspiring. Below are the excerpts.
Not many people know much about you, you seem to love operating from the background. Is that a strategy or that is you naturally?
It is not a strategy, that is the way I believe it should be. My husband is a star musician, he is vocal already. So I should be the one giving him the necessary support, praying from the background and all that. It is one voice. Mind you what God has joined together has become one, it is well established in the Bible.
Some say you are loving and accommodating while some see you as a standoffish woman. Who really is Temitope Ayefele?
Whatever people say or call me is their opinion, which can never change the real me. Those who really know me would tell you that I am not too loud or gentle, I’m in-between. I have a large heart and I love people around me. I can’t afford to be otherwise because of my husband’s work. We have to be accommodating and that has been part and parcel of us.
To be wife of a star musician is not easy, the many engagements, women around him etc. How have you been coping with all these over the years. What would you say has been sustaining your marriage?
It is not easy at all my brother, but we thank God for His grace that has been sufficient for us in life and our marriage. Enough pacient, mutual respect and understanding are part of the key ingredients to a successful marriage. “You must not listen to side talks but concentrate on the person you are dealing with. Since you have both signed a life contract and it is for better for worse, you must deal with issues together”. All that, coupled with the special grace of God, have sustained my marriage up till this moment. I understand the nature of my husband’s work, people are always around him and all that.
The story out there is that you probably fell in love and married Yinka Ayefele because of his good looks. Tell us about how you met and fell in love for each other? What was the main attraction?
I’m I not a beautiful woman too? Let’s put all that by the side. I met him in 1996, before he had the accident. I saw in him a hard-working man when we met. Very hard-working, there is nothing he can’t do to stay afloat in his profession. He is someone who doesn’t get distracted from his dream no matter what may come his way.
Barely a year after you met husband he had an accident that confined him permanently on wheelchair and still went ahead to marry him. Many were surprised to see you stay put despite all the challenges?
Why won’t I stay?I told you about some of the qualities I saw in my husband that made me fell in love and married him. I have made up my mind to send the rest of my life with him before the accident. When he had the accident we there together at the University College Hospital, Ibadan (UCH). I saw in him the determination to survive, to live and to make it in life. Those are the things that also motivated me to stay with him in the time of trouble and up till now. Nobody is above trial and tribulations and when they come what one should do is to remain steadfast and be prayerful. Bible didn’t tell us that trouble would not come, it is bound to come but God has given us a strong assurance, He Is there to give us the grace to overcome.
Before now, you are known as someone who cares for children and the needy generally but we heard you are launching an NGO very soon. What inspired such decision?
Well, there is no doubt in the fact that I love children and love to be surrounded by people, those I know and those I don’t even know their family. Whatever God sends me to help people with I don’t hesitate in doing it. I am a regular visitor to mother less babies homes and the less privilege people around town. We normally go there to bless them with the little God has blessed us with. But there was a day myself and my pastor were praying and he now asked me, what is your vision ma? I looked at him. He said there is something in you that God wants to bring out! That there is need for me to pursue that thing. We decided to put it in prayer and God later revealed what it is. And that is what gave birth to the idea of having my NGO, in other to reach out the more.
Tell us more about the NGO, the vision and objective that would be guiding it?
It is called T.T.A.F, Temitope Titilope Ayefele Foundation and it will be officially launched June 12, 2018 by the special grace of God. The foundation will cater for the less privilege people, disables, orphanage homes and indigents that are hopeless whether to pursue their academics or other necessary things. Particularly those in need of help that government can’t reach out to or many that wish to help but couldn’t reach out to people. Through my NGO, many people can be reached, we will influence people that have goodwill to help others. We network them and once in a while gather them to help the needy around us. Our VISION is to care for the special children (motherless, physically challenged, abandon babies). To care for the needy, empowerment of indigents in the society.
Our MISSION Is to create an opportunity of a second chance for the hopeless and devastated individuals to smile again. Reaching out to the unreached, to provide succour to the rejected, hopeless people irrespective of race, tribe, colour or religion.To lovingly provide solution to those aching in hearth. We aim to create an enabling environment, through various forms of support. To alleviate pains and hardships which special children are subjected to as a result of their circumstances within the society that is insensitive to their plights. We also. Plan to provide seamless opportunity to individuals who are deprived of formal training or education to ensure their effective participation in the society.
How do you plan to source for funds to achieve all these which you have stated?
We are supported entirely by God and to use the organisation’s good will and wealth of influence to raise special funds and materials to drive this cause in order to assist the concerned people in any way that they can. We’ll also depend on free will offering from individuals, churches and corporate bodies. We are going to partner with the government in providing basic amenities for the needy.
Does the idea of floating an NGO has anything to do with your husband’s condition?
Yes. Because when my husband had the accident in 1997, when there was no hope, people both young and old stood up and contributed from state to state. They gave him a second chance in life. Now he is useful to the society because he was given the needed support. He now has many establishments trough which he has been helping people; he is an employer of labour and he is doing a lot of charity. So if many out there can get desired support like he was able to, it will be good for the society. They will also contribute their own quota to the development of our society.
Apart from your husband’s condition and the fact that it was revealed by God for you to help people, what ordinarily inspires you to support the needy?
I am always not happy whenever I see somebody in need not to get help. So many people do come to for help and the little I can I have been doing. Some may be school fees, some may be for training and all that. That is why I feel, since I have gotten the go ahead from God, it should be taken to the next level. Why limiting it to myself alone? When I can even do little in my capacity. Why not spread it to others? Not for people that I know, but those who I don’t even know to benefit from the program.
Medically, it is believed that those with spinal cord issue can’t be sexually active, is there any difference in your husband’s case?
Well, that is strictly my private life which can never be discussed on the pages of newspapers for no reason. I am happy in marriage and you can see the signs all over and around me. Thank God for everything.
Tell us more about yourself and your background?
My name remains Temitope, Titilope Ayefele. I am an Ibadan woman, born and bred here. My father is Prof. Mathew Oladokun Fawusi and my mother is Mrs. Fawusi. I am from the popular Laamo Compound in Ibadan. I am from a moderate, cool background, we are not poor and we are not rich but comfortable. My father was a professor while my mum, a businesswoman. I grew up at Bodija area of Ibadan. I went to Kings Convent School for primary and my secondary school was Ibadan Grammar School, Molete, Ibadan. Then I went NCE, St. Andrew’s College, Oyo then (1992-1995). I later went to U.I to study Economics Education (1996-2000).
Apart from managing the home front, what do you do?
I am a businesswoman. I run a store which deals in children stuffs. I am a housewife and mother.